Remona AlyTuesday 08 December 2020 BBC Radio 2
Apps, Heartbreak and a Love Story
BBC Radio 2, Pause for Thought on the Zoe Ball Breakfast Show
Zoe, we’re reaching the end of the year and I’m reaching the end of my tether, especially on the dating front which has been pretty dire for me this year, like it has for so many singles. I’ve deleted and reinstalled apps like a yoyo, fed up of seeing gym selfies, puppy filters and non-commitment. I’ve gone from swipe lefts – to hope – to heart-sinks, all the time wondering, when will I finally get my love story?
Well I almost did – before the rise of the planet of the apps, over 18 years ago when a man got down on one knee and held out an engagement ring.
I was very young, naïve and romantic, but my bubble quickly burst when red flags emerged about my fiancé, and it painfully dawned on me that he was not my happy ending.
It was one of the lowest and darkest points of my life. I didn’t know you could suffer a broken heart from not loving someone back.
So many times, I’ve wished I could rewind the clock, and not pick up his very first phone call. But the experience, painful as it was, made me pray even harder, drawing me closer to my Creator, and closer to knowing myself.
Since then, I’ve been more prepared for the salt of disappointments and learned the sweetness of survival. Moving through life, I keep stepping deeper, into who I’m becoming.
I heed the words of the American Muslim speaker and author, Yasmin Mogahed, when she says: “To all those broken or hopeless, I have learned this: Be grateful for every single person who was part of your story. The ones that hurt you. The ones that helped you. The ones that came, and the ones that left. They all taught you. Don’t think for a moment that any of it was random. There are no oversights with God. Only perfectly crafted chapters in each unique journey.”
Instead of feeling regret or wanting to turn back the clock, I’ll choose to learn from all the people who’ve come into my path. I’ll embrace Life itself, like it’s the partner I’ve always wanted. Maybe this could be the love story that never ends.